Dance or Drill

I read something In "That Hideous Strength" today that grabbed my
attention. The Director drops bread crumbs on the floor. He then blows
a whistle to which three mice come scampering across the floor. The
mice quickly gobble up the crumbs. The director then blows the whistle
and the mice scurry away. The Director then says to his guest,

"Humans want crumbs removed; mice are anxious to remove them. It ought never to have been a cause of war. But you see that obedience and rule are more like a dance then a drill - specially between man and woman where the roles are always changing"

Is marriage a dance or drill? How about relationship with God? Does a
lot of it have to do with our attitudes toward equality, obedience,
submission, serving?

Last quote,

"No one has ever told you that obedience - humility - is an
erotic necessity"